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Frequently Asked Questions

"Change is a process, not an event.”

To cover any queries about coaching, I have provided the answers to my most FAQs.

Why would someone see a life or relationship coach?

There are many misperceptions out there – the biggest myth being that a life coach teaches life skills. You wouldn't see a life coach because you have problems. We all have problems. You would see a life coach because you are feeling stuck and you do not know the best way to move forward. Coaching will help you to explore all your options and then help you to implement the change that suits you best. Coaching is at its essence a "Methodology for change".

What are the benefits/advantages of relationship coaching?

Let me start by saying it is a progressive approach for singles and couples to help them become 'unstuck' when entering into or trying to navigate successfully through the complexities of a relationship. A relationship coach addresses choices, attitudes and patterns of behaviour that are not serving the individual or couple.
The benefits of relationship coaching: creating a meaningful and fulfilling relationship.

Can you tell us a little more about 'relationship coaching for singles' and how that links in to dating?

This section of coaching is the first stage of Relationship Coaching for Singles and Couples and it assists singles to become prepared and skilled for meeting and creating a healthy love relationship. When I say 'prepared', I mean becoming 'relationship ready': again, looking at attitudes, choices and patterns of behaviour that are not working for you in creating loving relationships. When I say 'skilled', it means looking at the practical elements of dating skills and the relationship competencies required for sustainable partnerships.

If you are dating to meet a life partner then how can 'Dating Deliberately' help you?

By helping you become a quality partner. To HAVE a quality relationship you need to BE a quality partner. The degree to which we love ourselves is the degree to which we are able to attract and receive love. So, for those who are serious about finding a life partner – investing in becoming your best self is the most helpful place to start and that is what Dating Deliberately is all about. It is about providing relationship coaching to single people to attract and receive love.

How many sessions are necessary or what is the period of your consultation with a client?

Dating Deliberately has a prescribed amount of 4 sessions. If more are required then we will do more. Generally, coaching varies. Helping clients shift from their current reality to their preferred reality depends on many variables. To mention only a few examples:
• The nature of the problem and the depth of the work involved
• Whether the presenting problem turns out to be the actual problem
• How committed and willing the client/couple is toward creating change in their life
• The level of a client's self awareness

What do you cover in the coaching sessions?

Sometimes clients are very clear about what they want to achieve. Other times clients know what they 'don't want' in life and we spend a few sessions getting clear about what they do want. When we have clarity and can define what they would prefer to have (preferred reality versus current reality) then we go about accomplishing that outcome.

Are the sessions structured and do they work towards goals or is it an open-ended exercise?

I work with my clients as long as they are finding what we are doing useful and beneficial. I have had some clients for years, who come once a month as a kind of maintenance plan and others who found three sessions adequate. The majority of the time we have specific outcomes we are working towards and the process is very focussed on achieving those goals. Sometimes though, life happens and clients find it more helpful to discuss others issues at hand, in which case we might take a detour from the goals for a session or two.

How do I know coaching is right for me, or that you are right for me?

Prior to booking any face-to-face sessions with new clients I offer what is called a 'chemistry connect'. This allows us the opportunity to confirm whether we are the right 'match' for each other. This 'meet and greet' gives you the chance to ask me any questions about life/relationship coaching and helps me to decide whether I will be the best person for the job. Assuming we are both happy to move forward, we then book the first session. Usually we contract for at least three sessions and then assess what will be most useful (six sessions for Dating Deliberately). I will discuss the general process of coaching in the chemistry connect which is usually about 20 min. or so. The chemistry connect has no charge.

Do you offer different types of coaching for different budgets?

Yes, I do.
• Face-to-face coaching (Life/Relationship one-on-one)
• Telephonic coaching
• Email Coaching: this is to be paid prior to any coaching taking place. After I receive proof of payment I will answer your email within 24-48 hours. If at some point it seems that I am unable to provide adequate support via email I might suggest a coaching call or face-to-face session.